


Welcome to my nightmare

by mareavera



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Other, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:38:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6494020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mareavera/pseuds/mareavera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Till Lindemann and Alice Cooper, after a tiring night on tour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to my nightmare

I push the door of my suite open, and feel Richard’s hand on my back. 

“See you tomorrow Till.” he says. I don’t even reply, just mumble something between my teeth. “Or do you…I don’t know, want to stay with me for a while? A drink or-”

“Nein, Kruspe. Aber Danke. Gute Nacht.” I send him the hint: I want to be alone.  He knows me too well, but still has that frown on his face. I look at the black lipstick that he still has on, at his face that is surely as dirty as mine. 

“Alright. Call if you need anything. ” 

I finally manage to get inside, and close the door behind me. I push my back against it, close my eyes and take a very deep breath. I don’t know, but tonight things have been really tough. I just want to get in the bathtub and forget about everything. I glance at the room, at the communicating door with the others’ rooms, before going straight into the bathroom. The white walls, the white ceramic, everything is so minimal. I turn the tap on, and start to undress. I get a glimpse of my face in the mirror, and see my face still dirty with grease, and paint, and fake blood. I’m a mess. I pass a hand through my filthy hair before going to the sliding doors on my balcony. I am completely naked, but I honestly don’t care. It’s late, I’m in a foreign country and nobody’s going to tell me something bad. I go out for a few minutes, looking down at the city. Cars come and go, their red and white light going fast on the street that is so small compared to the height of the floor on which our rooms are. I love this view. The feeling of my bare skin being touched by the chilly, silent air that you get only at this hour of the night. 

I get inside again, and decide to put on some music. Something to soothe my soul. I get my iPod and go back to the bathroom, where the pleasant smell of the bath-salts of the hotel already make my mood better. I set up the iPod on the dock station I’ve brought from home, and go through the library. Then, there it is: Alice Cooper. I push play, and get inside the bathtub. 

The contact with the hot water makes a shiver run down my spine. God, it feels so good. Alice starts singing “Welcome to my nightmare” as I wash my face. I decide to get comfortable and lay my head down, relaxing my entire body. 

_Welcome to my nightmare, I think you’re gonna like it, I think you’re gonna feel you belong.  
_ _A nocturnal vacation, unnecessary sedation, you want to feel at home ‘cause you belong._

I close my eyes and think about the show. The crowd was insane, they really gave me energy, I felt their love. But I also felt so much fear. It was overwhelming. It was a draw between massive adrenaline, almost leading to an orgasm, and a fear so bad it could have killed me. That’s the thin line on which I have walked on tonight. 

 _Welcome to my breakdown._  
I hope I didn’t scare you.  
That’s just the way we are when we come down.

That fear is somehow still inside me, no matter the hot water and the perfume coming from the bath-salts. There are so many images in my head, and as I try to get more relaxed I feel the images coming. I’m getting swallowed by the water around me, and I end up in the abyss. It’s dark, with hands grabbing me everywhere. I don’t even try to resist as they pull me down, deeper, like into Alice’s rabbit hole. I’m surrounded by these mermaid like creatures, with faces that make me afraid. They…almost look like my bandmates, but with demon like features. They have sharp teeth, black and putrid skin. It’s terribly scary, I can feel my heart beating at double speed. One of them looks like Richard. I’m pretty sure that’s him. I can feel him sink his teeth into my deltoids. I scream, but the voice doesn’t come out. 

_We sweat and laugh and scream here._   
_'Cause life is just a dream here._   
_You know inside you feel right at home, here._   
  


I try to fight, punching the air, or the water, or wherever the hell am I. They’re holding my limbs still, so that I can’t move. They take turns in biting me and ripping out a piece of my body, and I can’t do anything about it. I scream, this time it’s louder. I don’t know if somebody’s going to save me from this hell I’m going through. It seems like they want to take advantage of me and of my flesh, stealing all that’s left of me until I don’t exist anymore. I scream with all my lungs, but these monsters just laugh at me. There’s one that looks like Oliver, one that looks like Flake, and Doom, and Paul. I am disgusted at what they’re doing to me. I really don’t want to be down here anymore. 

_Welcome to my breakdown…_

There’s a hand pulling me up. I think that that’s how being born is like. I finally breathe, because I have probably gone underwater for more than I could take. I look up, and…

“Till, what the fuck? Why where you screaming so loud?” 

Richard is sitting on the edge of the bathtub. He’s the one that has “rescued” me. He has heard my screams through the wall, he has come to my aid. I swear I had never thought he was this beautiful until this moment. His face looks like an angel’s. 

“Christ.” I just say. I am out of breath as I sit in the water, and get to lay my head on Richard’s lap. 

“You’re wetting everything.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” I reply, and hear Richard sigh. God it’s good to have this idiot around in times like this. “Turn off Alice Cooper. Damn him.”  he laughs, and starts caressing my wet head. “Stupid fucking nightmares.”


End file.
